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All Topics » Site Contests » Archived Contest Winners » Cooking with Ko (image heavy)

Cooking with Ko (image heavy) [LOCKED]

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Cooking with Ko (image heavy) [LOCKED] 19

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Cooking with Ko (image heavy)

by Kochab » May 19, 2018 09:25 PM

Last Edited: June 24, 2018 09:09 AM

WARNING: I cuss a lot

Hey hey nerds!!!

Welcome to

COOKING WITH KO

Where I cook and eat everything and you get nothing (except [@Estella])

(don’t feel bad I have to deal with the goddamn dishes)

Now I have some sunflower seeds laying around, so I’ve decided to cook up some Enchanted Forest foods and see what happens. The recipes I have decided to try today are:

Sunflower Brittle
Nutty Granola
Seed Bread
Seed Cookies
Way Bread
Lentil Quinoa Salad

Now, while I have most of the ingredients, I need to go shopping. I need some cashews, walnuts, mushrooms, and sunflower seed flour, if it exists.

LET’S GO SHOPPING GIRLFRIEND


WE’RE AT THE HEALTH FOOD STORE!!!


Unfortunately, ground up sunflower seeds did not exist.

“Portabella mushrooms”

CLOSE ENOUGH

Checked out, on my way home

HOLD UP THERE’S A TREECKO AND A PIDGEY

YES

Also the blueberries are fantastic this time of year so I buy as many as I can get my hands on


They did not make it home


INGREDIENTS ASSEMBLE


Let’s turn on some tunes and get to work!!!


FIRST ON THE LIST


SUNFLOWER BRITTLE

Because I live in the Real World, I need a more specific recipe than that, so I googled it and followed this recipe, though I fourthed it, because it’s just me and I don’t need all that sugar goddamn

BUTTERBALL IN THE PAN
It’s about half a tablespoon?


1/4 cup of sugar and and 1/4 cup of sunflower seeds (with some pepitas mixed in)


MIXED IN THE SEEDS WITH THE BUTTER
IT LOOKS LIKE A HOT TUB


Now I don’t really cook with sugar so I was dubious about this step - just throw sugar, plain sugar on the skillet??


Squints


WHAT THE FUCK IT’S MELTING
DUDE WHAT IS THIS MAGIC

(got some seeds in that by accident whoops)

MIX THESE BITCHES TOGETHER


POURING IT INTO PARCHMENT PAPER YEAH


Okay, so that really wasn’t too bad. Gotta wait for it to cool now.

NUTTY GRANOLA



So here I’ve got 1/4 cup of dried cranberries (because fuck raisins)
1/4 cup quick-cooking oats
1/4 cup sliced almonds
1/4 cup cashews
...and a little bit of nutmeg


I threw these on the skillet that I used for butter and seeds in the last recipe, and threw out the nutmeg and instead used a buttload of cinnamon (I just… I’m not a nutmeg fan. I can’t)


squints
I don’t think this is how I’m supposed to do this

TURNED ON THE OVEN


Also added more cranberries because it needed more

HEY HEY HOW’D THAT BRITTLE COME OUT YOU’RE ASKING???




DELICIOUS, ACTUALLY


I think there was a little too much butter in the ratio but otherwise it’s pretty awesome??

MOVING ON TO

SEED BREAD



Bread can be a little iffy, so I’m going to lift some tips from this recipe. My ingredients were

1/2 cup almond flour
1/4 cup flax seed meal
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 egg
1 tablespoon olive oil (IT’S SHOWING 1 TSP BUT I SAW MY ERROR AND ADDED MORE)
4 tsp milk
Like 2 tablespoons honey??
A splash of maple syrup (probably 2 tablespoons, didn’t measure) (and this is actual maple syrup, not pancake syrup)
1/4 cup sunflower seeds-pepitas mixture
Pinch of salt






MIX THAT BITCH TOGETHER


POUR IT IN THE LOAF PAN


BAKING THE BREAD AND THE GRANOLA YEAH


Now while that’s baking…

SEED COOKIES



I put some walnuts in this tiny plastic bag


AND SMASHED THEM


I did the same with some sunflower seeds (about a quarter cup)

Next I’m going to cook the amaranth!!
I fucking love amaranth since I tried it a few months ago. I’m going to be popping the amaranth for this


To do that, you need your smallest pot that has a tight-fitting lid!


Turn up the heat yo
Once it’s nice and hot, take a spoonful of amaranth and put it in the pot and cover
and don’t make a goddamn mess like I did


SHAKE THE POT SO IT DOESNT BURN


You should hear the amaranth popping!!!



IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL
I did 4 spoonfuls but I didn’t use that much

Okay…


Honestly I’m afraid of this recipe, what part about this is supposed to make cookies??? Mixing some honey with some seeds isn’t going to do anything... Maybe I was supposed to cook the amaranth instead of pop it??? Shit…


MIXED IT TOGETHER ANYWAY
GONNA BAKE THIS BITCH

BUT FIRST
HOW ARE THE OTHER TWO DOING??

After about 15 mins our granola is nice and toasty???


omg I love it??

AND THE BREAD??? After 20 minutes at 350 degrees F


IT’S BEAUTIFUL??? AAAAA???


im sobbing it’s so good

I’m feeling pretty good about my successes, so I form my Seed Cookies into 3 little balls and put them in the oven for 10 minutes and-



WHAT THE FUCK????
IT LOOKS LIKE BIRD BARF
WHAT
W H A T

These are definitely not cookies???

...well, in review

Seed bread - a little dry, but AMAZING HOLY COW WOW
Granola - Amazingly simple and really quite delicious?? The cranberries are drier than I’d like so I would probably put those in after the oven part, but i love it
Sunflower brittle - I’m not a huge brittle fan as it stands, but it was easy and turned out great
Seed Cookies - I… can probably cook some of the amaranth (you cook it like you do porridge)... looks like there are some amaranth cookies recipes online… I mean the mixture doesn’t taste bad or anything but these are NOT cookies. [@Othidar] you need a more specific recipe my dude

Well I gotta clean some dishes so the Way Bread and Lentil Quinoa Salad will be forthcoming

THANKS FOR HANGING OUT MY MAIN NERDS
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Re: Cooking with Ko (image heavy)

by Aotani » May 19, 2018 10:11 PM

I can't see the images rn but I love this
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Re: Cooking with Ko (image heavy)

by Hopolites » May 19, 2018 10:19 PM

Oh nice!

(If only I could cook more...)
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Re: Cooking with Ko (image heavy)

by Ruevian » May 19, 2018 10:20 PM

I laughed, I cried

10/10 would stare hungrily at again
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Re: Cooking with Ko (image heavy)

by Elfy » May 19, 2018 10:36 PM

8/10 - beautiful foods but lacking in some areas. normal honey over firefly honey? a pan instead of a cinis scale? :/
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Re: Cooking with Ko (image heavy)

by Budge » May 20, 2018 03:13 PM

... I have never been more hungry for seeds. This is just lovely.
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Re: Cooking with Ko (image heavy)

by Kochab » May 20, 2018 09:31 PM

aaaaa thanks for your kids words aaaaaaaa

ALRIGHT SO
SEED GODDAMN COOKIES

I’ll be using this recipe as a guide

I’m halving it, so I’ll start cooking 1/4 cup of amaranth traditionally, so I’ll put that on the stove with 3/4 cup water


LOOKIT IT COOK WHAT A WEIRD FOOD


Mixing it in with 1/2 cup peanut butter (this particular type has no sugar added so now i have to hem and haw about how much sugar to add fffffff)


Oh my god guys peanut butter without sugar is really disgusting guys don’t try this at home

Ingredients I used:
1/2 an egg (in retrospect probably should have put the whole one in, aaaa)
1/4 cup softened butter (pfft jk I microwaved it b/c i didn’t have any ready)
I’m feeling adventurous in regards to flour so I used
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 cup almond flour
1/4 cup coconut flour
A few tablespoons of flaxseed meal for good measure
1/2 cup quick cooking oats because the recipe says so??? Okay whatever???
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
Pinch of salt
SUGAR??? LIKE 1/2 A CUP??? I used maple syrup because it’s my sugar of choice



Okay so the dough was fucking harder than expected, I didn’t use all of the oats and almost didn’t use all of the flour - don’t half baking recipes kids. you’re messing with science and science hates being halved

This was exceedingly dry so I ended up just using my hands to mix it
Mixing in the bird barf


And since this recipe is so far away from its original intentions I HAVE ADDED CHIA SEEDS, CRANBERRIES, AND SPRINKLES


AWW YEAH BAKE YOU SUCKERS


15 minutes later
They’re so cute??? Omg and it smells good


TASTE TEST TIME



Okay so they fail. They’re pretty lame. The cuteness factor makes up for that but they’re crumbly and dry. Will probably be fine with a drizzling of honey or dipped in chocolate but eeeh, these are not party pleasers


Or maybe i should have put in more sugar gdi
(haha I just realized I forgot to add salt to the cookies, I’m so fucked)

Alright yall so my energy is done, I’m crossing Way Bread off my list because I don’t really care to learn to steam bread right now
Just?? How???

INSTEAD I’LL BE COOKING THE ONE DISH THAT DOESN’T INVOLVE SUGAR

LENTIL QUINOA SALAD


I HAVE LENTILS
I HAVE QUINOA
I HAVE FUNGUS
LETS DO THIS


(I hate mustard so I’m leaving that bastard out)

I would like to start off by saying that I have never cooked mushrooms before and this thing is freaking me out like


EW????
(I know i like the taste of mushrooms so otherwise I wouldn’t be trying but um???)

!!! THEY’RE CALLED GILLS??? LIKE A FISH??? OH MY GOD THIS IS SO GROSS




meanwhile i will be singing this for the next year

Quinoa in the rice cooker!!!


Lentils in the pressure cooker!! I like my lentils tasty so I added some garlic, salt, and soup stock flavoring


These shrooms are going to need some seasoning so I’m going to use a modification of seasonings shown in this video, using garlic, oil, tamari sauce, ginger, and some rosemary because it’s my herb of choice


I HAVE PREPARED THE SHROOM



CHOPPIN UP THE SHROOM


I am proud to report that now that I have dealt with them I am far less frightened by the mushrooms

Mixing in the shrooms with the sauce


QUINOA’S DONE
ALSO CUTE AND FLUFFY


Shrooms are done, and smelling pretty good


Lentils are FINALLY done!!!


MIXING EM TOGETHER YEAH




WELL
I MEAN
IT’S NO SALAD
It’s more like what I’d fill my burrito with
Not sure what I could have done to make it more like a salad, though maybe pressure cooking the lentils was not the right way to do it?? Or I used the wrong type of lentils??
Either way it’s pretty tasty

Now that we’re at the end of this, my biggest takeaway is that I now can cook myself mushrooms without fear. Or with less fear. I’m going to have to do it a few times to get over the shock of what a weird food mushrooms are

Also [@Othidar] fix your goddamn seed cookies recipe, there is no universe where your recipe makes anything resembling a cookie

STAY HUNGRY MY FRIENDS
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Re: Cooking with Ko (image heavy)

by Aotani » May 21, 2018 09:32 AM

i always stay hungry
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Re: Cooking with Ko (image heavy)

by Kochab » May 21, 2018 01:14 PM

Update on the cookies-
They're somehow a lot better after sitting out for twelve hours???
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Re: Cooking with Ko (image heavy)

by Aotani » May 21, 2018 03:02 PM

Posted by: "Kochab"

Update on the cookies-
They're somehow a lot better after sitting out for twelve hours???

y
you left them out?? ew what if a spider touched them ko
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Re: Cooking with Ko (image heavy)

by Paradox » May 22, 2018 10:22 PM

Stop making me hungryyyyyyyy

Seriously though, these all look amazing
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